nunca
I know you don’t want me, I know you never could
I know that when you’re flirting with me it’s out of habit and not out of special interest
I know that all the nice things you say are because you’re a nice person and not because you’re going out of your way
I know that you really do think I’m awesome, as you often say
I know that you think this because my personality is better than most you’ve encountered
I know that it’s nice to hear your compliments but I almost wished you didn’t like anything about me
I know that I if I can’t have you want everything about me than I don’t want you to enjoy my company
I know that I’ve done a lot of embarrassing things when I thought I was in love
I know, now, that I was just in unrequited infatuation
I know I treated the people, whom I claimed to adore, unfairly
I know I put way too much pressure on them and put them in uncomfortable situations
I know that each time I told myself it would be different, that this time they would be so happy I sent them that email/text/letter
I know no matter how much I like you right now, no matter how much of a one-way Sunday you are, no matter how many times you smile at me, I will not tell you how I feel
I know that because I am far too familiar with the backfire and with clinging tenuously to my dignity
I know I’ll get over it, eventually
I know that even though I should know better I do feel like this time it’s different and even though I wish more than anything that you wanted me back
I know you don’t want me, I know you never could
